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Li-f 220O. /i.io

HARVARD COLLEGE LIBRARY

GLEAN I N GS

FOR THE CURIOUS

FBOM THE

Harvest-Fields of Literature.

A MELANGE OF EXCERPTA.

COLLATED BT

C. C. BOMBAUGH, A.M., M.D.

" 80 ihe gleaned in the field until eren, and beat oat that ehe had gleaned : and it was about an epbah of barley.*^— Buth 2 : 17.

** I hare here made a noeegay of culled flowers, and hare brought notbing of my own bat the itring that tiee them.**— Montaiqnb.

PHILADKLPHIA:

J. B. LIPPINCOTT COMPANY.

1890.

S^ ^o- cro . d' lO

v..

.1 Nh . . It'.-

Entered, according to Act of OongresB, In the year 1874, by

A. D. WOBTHINGTON ft 00. In the Office of the Librarian of CongresB, at Waahlngton.

/^ f:

^Ptefatorg*

i am not ignorant, ne unsnrei tjftat mans tjft^t^ ^^h htfoxt to$o0e sii^t tjbto ISooit sj^all finlie small grace, anil UMt fabouc So jbar)i a tjbtng it is to torite or tnlitte ans matter, to^atsoeber it it, t^at B^oulb it atU to 0iuitaine anii abilie t$e bariable iuligement, ant to oitaine or \Binnt tjge constant lobe arib allotoanre of ebers man, especialls if it containe in it ans nobelts or untoonteli strangenesse* ^Ratnald's Woman's Book.

Ui

Bid him welcome. This is the motley-minded gentleman.

As Tou Like It.

^A fountain set round with a rim of old, mossy stones, and

paved in its bed with a sort of mosaic work of variously-colored pebbles. House op Seven Gables.

^A gatherer and a disposer of other men's stuff.

^ WOTTOH.

A running banquet that hath much variety, but little of a sort.

Butler.

They have been at a great feast of languages, and stolen the *®'*^'' Love's Labor Lost.

There's no want of meat, sir; portly and curious viands are prepared to please all kinds of appetites. MAssiirosB

A dinner of fragments is said often to be the best dinner. Bo are there few minds but might furnish some instruction and en- tertainment out of their scraps, their odds and ends of thought. They who cannot weave a uniform web may at least produce a piece of patchwork ; which may be useftQ and not without a charm of its own. Guesses at Truth.

^It is a regular omnibus ; there is something in it to every- body's taste. Those who like fat can have it ; so can they who like lean; as well as those who prefer sugar, and those who choose pepper. Mysteries of Paris.

Bead, and fear not thine own understanding: this book will create a clear one in thee ; and when thou hast considered thy purchase, thou wilt call the price of it a charity to thyselt

Shirley.

In winter you may reade them ad ignem, by the fireside, and in summer ad umbram, under some shadie tree ; and therewith passe away the tedious howres. Saltonstall.

iv

INTRODUCTION.

Ax earlier edition of Gleanings haTing attracted the hearty appro- val of a limited circle of that class of readers who prefer " a running banquet that hath much variety, but little of a sort/* the present pub- lisher requested the preparation of an enlargement of the work. In the augmented form in which it is now offered to the public, the con- tents will be found so much more comprehensive and omni&rioua that, while it has been nearly doubled in size, it has been more than doubled in literary value.

Miscellanea of the omnium-gatherum sort appear to be as accep- table to-day as they undoubtedly were in the youthful period of our literature, though for an opposite reason. When books were scarce, and costly, and inaccessible, anxious readers found in " scripscrap- ologia" multiferious sources of instruction ; now that books are like the stars for multitude, the reader who is appalled by their endless Buoceasion and variety is fain to receive with thankfiilness the cream that is skimmed and the grain that is sifted by patient hands for his use. Our ancestors were regaled with such olla-podrida as " The Galimaufry : a Kickshaw [Fr. qiidque chose] Treat which comprehends odd bits and scraps, and odds and ends ;" or " The Wit's Miscellany : odd and uncommon epigrams, facetious drolleries, whimsical mottoes, merry tales, and &bles,'for the entertainment and diversion of good company." To the present generation is accorded a wider field for excursion, from the Curiosities of Disraeli, and the C!ommonplaces of Southey, to the less ambitious collections of less learned collaborators.

" Into a hotch-potch," says Sir Edward Coke, ** is commonly put not one thing alone, but one thing with other things together." The present volume is an expedient for grouping together a variety which will be found in no other compilation. From the nonsense of literary trifling to the highest expression of intellectual force; from the anachronisms of art to the grandest revelations of science; from selections for the child to extracts for the philosopher, it will accom- modate the widest diversity of taste, and furnish entertainment for all ages, sexes, and conditions. As a pastime for the leisure half-hour, at

▼1 nrTW>Dccno5.

borne or abfvMd ; as a oompanion by the firende, or the seaside, amid

the ham of the city, or in the aolitnde of rural life ; as a means of re- UzatioD for the mind jaded by baaneas activities, it may be safely commended to acceptance.

The aim of this collation is not to be ezhanstiTe, bat simply to be well compacted. The lestrictiTe limits of an octavo leqaire the winnowings of selection in place of the balk of expansion. Gar- gantoa, we are told by Rabelais, wrote to his son Pantagrael, commanding him to learn Greek, Latin, Chaldaic, and Arabic; all history, geometry, arithmetic, music, astronomy, natoial philosophy, etc., " so that there be not a river in the world thoa dost not know the name and nature of all its fishes ; all the fowls of the air ; all the several kinds of shrubs and herbs ; all the metals hid in the bowels of the earth, all gems and precious stones. I would furthermore have thee study the Talmudists and Cabalists, and get a perfect knowledge of man. In brief; I would have thee a bottomless pit of all knowl- edge." While this book does not aspire to such Gargantuan compre- heasiveness, it seeks a higher grade of merit than that which attaches to those who " chronicle small beer," or to him who is merely *' a snapper-up of unconsidered trifles."

Quaint old Burton, in describing the travels of Panlus Emilius, says, *' He took great content, exceeding delight in that his voyage, as who doth not that shall attempt the like ? For peregrination charms our senses with such unspeakable and sweet variety, that some count him unhappy that never traveled, a kind of prisoner, and pity his case that from his cradle to his old, age beholds the same still ; stiU, still, the same, the same." It is the purpose of these Gleanings to oompeas such " sweet variety" by conducting the reader here, through the green lanes of freshened thought, and tliere, through by-paths neglected and gray with the moss of ages; now, amid cultivated fields, and then, adown untrodden ways; at one time, to rescue from oblivion fugitive thoughts which the world should not " willingly let die," at another, to restore to sunlight gems which have been too long *' underkept and down supprest." The compiler asks the tourist to accompany him, because with him, as with Montaigne end Hans Andersen, there is no pleasure without communication, and though all men may find in these Collectanea some things which they will recognize as old acquaintances, yet will they find many more with which they are unfamiliar, and to which their attention has never been awakened.

©onlante.

TheFreaiaand FoiOet <ff LUercOure-AceotnU qf certain OnfftOar Bml»- What an Pangrammaia f—Th€ BanUhed LetUn^Ete^t Ltgend—AXphO' biUeal Adverti9enuntr-Th£ Three 2nUiali—A JaeoUte Toaet—** The Begins ninff of Eternity'^— The Poor Letter H—The LeUere qf the Woiid— Trope for the Oockneye—Ingenioue Vereee on the VoweU-^AUUerative Vereee—'*A Bevy ^ BeUee"'— Antithetical Sermon-'Aeroeiice— Double, Triple, and Be- versed Acrostiee^Beautifid and Singular Jnetaneee— The Poets in Verm On Benedict Arnold— Curious Pasquinade— Monastic Verses— The P%ffuye qf the Fl^— Acrostic on 2fapoleon— Madame Sadiael— Masonic Memento— " Hen^ "-" Brevity qf Buman Ufe ''— Acrostic Valentine— Anagrams— Oennan, Latin^ and FngOshlnetanees— Chronograms 86

^almbromts.

Beading in every Style— What is a PaHndrome f—What St, Martin said to the Devil— The Lawyer^s Motto— What Adam said to Eve— The Poor Young Man in Lone— What Dean Sw{ft wrote to Dr. Sheridan—'' The Witch's Prayer **—The Device qf a Lady— Huguenot and Bomanist ; DotOiU DeaUng,

60

Cqtnboqttt.

A Very Deeei^l Sfietle—A Wicked Love Letter— What a Young W\fe terote to her Friend— The Jesuits Creed— BevoiutUmary Verus— Double Deal- ings—A Fatal Name— The Triple PWorm—A Bishop^s Evasion- The " Toaet*' given by a Smart Young Man^'* The Handwriting on the Wall''— French Actresses— How MdOe. Mars told her Age— A Lenient Judge— What

Mdlle.dco whispered to ''the BenehJ" 64

Tii

Vm CONTENTS.

K^e €txda.

"X Cloak of I^atehM^^—ffow Centos are madt—MotoAc Poetry— Th€ Poets in a Mixed State—New Versionitf Old Lines— Cento on Ufe-A Cento ftom thirty-eight Authors— CenLo from Pope—JBiblieal Sentiments— The Betum qf JsraO—Beligious Centos 78

Pacaromc Vtx$t.

"X Treatiss on mns''—MonHih Opinions— Whi4^ Tree is Bsstf-A Loner vMh Nine Tongues— Horace in a New Dress— What was Written on a Fly-Leftf—^^ The Cat and the Bats''— An Advertisement in Five Lan- guages—Parting Address to a Friend— *^' Oh^ the Bhine! ''-The Death of the Sea Serpent TB

Lasphrise's Novelties-Singular Ode to Death— On ''The Truth''-'' Long I looked into the Sky''— A Binging Song— A Qem (f Three Centuries Old 85

$0ttl8 $hlU8.

The Skdetons of Poetry— Bow the Poet Dvlot lost all his Ideas— Ths FOght ef three hundred Sonnets— The "Nettle" Bhymes—Bow a Young Lady teased her Beau— Assisting a Poet— Miss Lydia's Acrostic— Alfred De Mussete Lines— What the Due de MtUakqf wrote— Beverted Bliymes—How to make ''ShopaUc" verses!— What theyare 88

(EmbUntHtic ^ottrg.

Poetry in Visible Shape— The Bow and Arroio of Lave— The Deeeltfid Glass— Prudent Advice— A Very Singular Dirge-Poetry among the Monks— Sacred Symbols— A Hymn in Cruciform Shape— Ancient Devices- Verses toUhin the Cross— Cypher-" UO aO, but I 0 U"— Perplexing Printer's Puzzle— An Oiford Joke— The Puzzle of " The Precepts Ten"— A Mysterious Letter to ioMissK, T.J 98

CONTENTS. IX

The Poteer of LUUe Words— How Pope BicUaded them— The " Universal Praver^^—Sxample <^ Dr. Watts— WedeyU Hymns— Writings qf Shake- speare and Milton— ^*^ Address to the Dc^odils'^-Oeo. Herberts Poems- Testimony of KdUe^ Yomig^ LandOTy and Fletcher— Examples from Bailey'* s *^Festus'*—The Short Words of Scripture— Big and Little Words Com- pared 96

Who wrote the Scriptures— Why-r-And Whenr- Accuracy of the Bidle—The Testimony of Modem Discoveries— Scope and Depth of Scripture Teaehinff— What Learned Men have written of the Bible— Testimony qf Bottsseau, WiL herfOrce^ Bolingbroke^ Sir Wm. Jones^ Webster^ John Quiney Adams, Addi- son, Byron, Ac.— Who Trandated the Bible— Wickl\f's Version— Tyndale^s Translatkmr-Maithew^s Bible— Cranmer's Edition— The Geneva Bible— TheBreechesBible— The Bishop's Bible— Parker's Bible-^The DouayBible- King Jameses Bible— The Number of Books, Chapters, Verses, Words, and Letters in the Old and New Testaments— The Bible Distwted—An Extra- ordinary Calculation— Distinctions betv^een the Gotpds—The Lost Books-- What the word ''Sdah'' means— The Poetry of the Bible— Shakespeare's Knowledge of Scripture— The " True OenOeman'" qf the BibU— Misquota- tions from Scripture— A Scriptural " BuU^'— WU and Humor in the Bible— SortesSaera^Ckisang Lots toith the Bible lOS

t^e Ifamt of £ob.

Bow God is known— His Name in all the tongues qf Earth— Ancient Saxon Ideas qf Deity— '^ Elohim'* and "'Jehovah ''—The ''Lord'' qf the Ancient Jews—" Ood in Shakespeare"— The Fatherhood of Ood—The Parsee, Jew, and Christian 121

The Name of Jesus— What does L H S. Meanf—'De Nomine Jean— TTAo^ St. Bemardine did—'" Tlie Flower qf Jesse '"^—Story of the Jpfant Jesus— Andent Legends of Christ— Persian Story ; The Dead Dog— Description qf ChrisCs Person— Th£ Death Warrant of Christ— The Sign qf Vie Cross in Ancient America 130

X CONTENTS.

Thy and Us— The "fljpirir* qf the LorcTa Prayer^CMMc Version of ths Fourth Century— Metrical VenUme—Set to MuHo—The Prayer lUuetrated— Acroetlcal Paraphraee—What the Bible Oommeniatore Said— The Prayer Echoed—A Slnarular Acroetic 186

Anecdotes qf dergy— Excessive dtM&ty—A Very PUUe Preacher— Dean SuHJVs short Sermon— ^' Down with the Duet'*''— An Abbreviated Sermon— Dr. Dodd's Sermon on Malt—BombaMic Style qf Basoom—The Preachers of CfromwelTs time—'Whjen a man ought to Cough!— Origin of Texts— How the Ancient Prophets Preached— Clerical Blunders— Proving an Alibi— Whit^field and the Sailors— Protestant Excommunication— The Tender Merdea qf John Knox 143

^nritati IPfoxIianius.

The Puritan Maiden " 7W»y "— X Jury-List of IKS-An Extraordinary list qf Names— Singular Similes— Early Punishments in Massachusetts— Vir- ginia Penalties in the Olden Time^Primitive Fines for Curious Crimes- Staying away from Church— T tie ^^Blue Laws^^ qf Connsciieut—Hard Punishments for LUile FauUs 160

paronomasia.

The Art qf Pun-making— What is Wit f— Puns Among the Hebrews— A Pun- gent Chapter— Punning Examples— The Short Eoad to Wealth— A ''''Man qf Greece^'— Witty Impromptus qf Sydney Smith^StartHng toast of Harry Erskine—'^ Top and Bottom "— The Imp qf Darkness and the Imp o' Light— A Printer's EpUcg^hr-The ''whacks'' and the " «rtct "— " Wo-man " and " Whimrmen'"—F(dthless Sally Brown— Whiskers verpna Baeors— Pleasure and Payne— Plaint qf the old Pauper^— To my Nose— Bad " acconntants " but excellent ''book-keepers'*''— The Vegetable Girl— On an Old Horse— Grand Scheme qf Education-" The Perilous Practice qf Punning""—" Tu Porta SaluB"— On a Youth who was killed by Fruit— The Appeal of Widow-Hood— SwifTs Latin Puna—Pims in Macbeth^ Classical Puns and Mottoes— Mottoes of the English Peerage— 3 evLT-6e-'i/ioiB— How Schott WiU- ing—A Catalectic Monody— Bees qf the Bible— Franklin'' s " Re's''''— Funny '' Miss-Nomers "— Crooked Coincidences— A Court FooTs Pun 155

OOMTfiNTS. XI

finglb^ 9Sorb0 anb ^axms of titfTtBtaatL

Dictionary EngXUh—Ntanber <^ worda in tht EnglUh lawruagt--langwiig€ qf </ the BiNe-Sourcet ^ the LanguaQe—UdiAng a Forelffntr—Diffteultie* qf the LanguaQe-DUraOian, EngUth—Why use '" Te^'f—Rs, His, and Her- How qften " That " may be wed— How many sounds are given to ^^cugh "— A literary Squaddie— Concerning certain Words— Excise^ Pontiff ^ Bough— J>r. Johnson in Troudte— Americanisms— '* 2fo Love Loet^^—The Forlorn Hope— Quiz— Tennyson^s EngH^tr— Eccentric Etymologies— Words which have (hanged their Meaning— Strange Derivations— Injtuenos qf Names- Big Words and Long Names 183

tall SBriitng.

The Domicile erected by John— New Version qf an Old Story— Curiosities qf Advertising-Mr. Connors and his big Words— Curiosities qf the Post Office— Singular Play Bill— Andrew Borde, his Book— The Mad Poet— Foote's Fanny Farrago— Burlesque qf Dr. Johnson— Newspaper Eulogy— ^^ Clear as Mud''— An Indignant Lettef^A Chtmioal Valentine— The Surgeon to his Lady-love— The Lawyers Ode to J^ning— Proverbs for Pre- cocious Pta>U» M8

|p[ttric $rO0t.

Vneonsdous Poetising- Cowper's Rhyming Letter to Newton— Poetic Prose in Irving' s Knickerbocker— Example from Disraeli" s " Alray "— Unintentional Rhythm in Charles Dickens* works— Old Curiosity Shop and Nicholas NkUeby— American Notes— Vers^/ioation in Scripture— Rhymes from Cels- brated Prosers— Curious Instance {^Abraham Lincoln— Opinion qf Dr. Johntottr^Escamples from KemNe and Siddons SS8

S^t PntnoTS of J^trsi&ntion.

The Story qf the Lovers— Mingled Moods and Tenses— The Stammering W\fer- A Song with Variations—'' While She Rocks thi Cradle''— A Serio-Oomic Elegy— Reminiscence of Troy— Concerning Vegetarianism— W. C. Bryant as a Humoriet— Address ''To a Mosquito"— The " Poet " qf the" Atlantic " —Bryants Travesty— A Rare Pipe— The Human Ear— A Lesson in Acous- tics—Amusing Burlesque of Tennyson— Sir Tray; an Arthurian Idyl- All AJbout the " Ologies"—The Variation Humbug— Buggins and the Busy Bee— Comical Singing in Church— The Curesqf O'Kelly 980

Xll CONTENTS.

PibtnttanH.

JHtft Built and BhrnOen—JRu Edgeworth on the '*Bua''— Obmioal Letter qf an Irish "if. P:'— Bulls in MUsisHppi— American Bulls— The New Jail— A FrenehnuuCs Blunder— The ''Puir SUfy Body^' who torote a Book— The ''InaWqf ClassicalWriUrs-Bulls from everif Quarter and q^ all kinds.

SII«nbtr0.

sups qf the Press— The Bishop Accused of Swearing— The Datnp Old Church— Firm a French Newspaper— The Pig-kUling Machine and the Doctor- Slips t^ the Tdegraph— Simmons and the Cranberries— nniOdng his Education— The Poets in a Quandary— Blunders <tf Translators— Bather Gigantic Orasshoppers—'' Looe's last 8h\fl '''—Amusing Blunder of Voltaire —"A Fortune Cutting Meat''— A New " Translaticn'' of Hamlet— The Frenchman and the WelshBaXMt 259

Pt8qnolBium0.

Curious Misquotations <tf WeU-known Authors— Example qf Collins— Sir Walter SeoU in Error^Blunder fxT Sir Archibald Alison— Cruikshank as the Seal Simon Pure ''—Judge BesCs " Great Mind "-Byron's Little Mistake . 966

The Desertion <f ChrisCs Person a Fabrication— ** Beteetor's^ Charge agamst Scott— The ** Ministering Angel" not a Fabrieation-The Moon Hoax— A Literary '*Sell"—Carlyle's Worshippers Outwitted^Mrs, Hemans' Forg- eriee— Sheridan's "•' Oresk"— Spurious Ballads— The Sinyile Ballad Trick ~^A Boax upon Scott— Pealmanazar's Celebrated Fabrications— Benjamin FranXtin's Parabls—The Forgeries qf Ireland— BnitaOons qf Shakespeare.

860

Inttrmpteb Stnttntts,

The Judge and the Criminal— ""^ Free from Ouile"—Poor Mary " Oonjined"^ Erskine's '" Subscription'*— A SaOtfadory Note-'' LUtle Eel"— Going to Wor—The Poet Assisted; the Sun and the Fishes— Giving him the ''lie"^ Be Quincsy and the Fiend— Wit in the House <if Commons xtT

COMTKNT8. Zlll

tdp Verse.

Aneimi Btik> Vsrm Addrmloqmsm SOmbeiJ^London b^&n tht Bulora- ikm^Seko Song dy AtUti$tm—A Dutek Pa$9uUuide—The Gotpd Echo— Kbko <md the Lover^Drnm Sw\fV$ venes on Women—Buonaparte and the Xeho-Fhtai Ytrm^Wh^ FObn, the PubUsker, was ehot^BanarkabU EtkM»—A Fatai Ooitfttt^on BxtraonUnary faeU in AeowUee— Hearing AS^Qjf, »

fajjles.

Aceto drftnded: their uee and value— Utertiee for (he innd—AneUnt Per- piexUie^-^' The Uar''-'' PuxtUd to Death''— A Freneh rebut-SapUeon Buionaparte'e Cypher— A i^ueer4ooking Prodamatkm—A cwtlow Puale for the Lawyere—Sir leaae Newton'e JSiddle—Oowper'e JHddU— Canning' e BkUOe—A Prite Eiugma—Qtdncif'e CompaHeon— Perplexing Intermarriagee —Prophetie DieOeh—The -^yumber of the Beaef'—GaOleo'e Logograph— PsreUm Biddta-The Ckinam Tea Song-Death and L^fe-The Bebue-- WhalUUr— The Book cf BiddUe-Biehop WiSbaforce'e Blddle—Curioei- tUeqr Chi^^'^'^3eeretWriiing-BemarkaUeCrn>togr(q)he S90

C^e $rB8(m SB^.

Wkif Cfermans Bat SoMer-Kraut—Why PianneyivankL was SetOed— Whence the Buguenole derived thdr name— How Monarchs Die— Origin of the name <f Boelon-Ooneendng Weathereoets-OutHng qf wia a ShiBing-Why Oar- dimde hate art rtd^The BoaUBetf cfEngktndr-A SeneiUe Quad^Who wattheJIretCfenaemanr-SoluiionqfaJyggler'eJIfysterv 810

SStai^er-SRisbom.

SheridanU BMpning Calendar-Sir Humphrey Davy's Weather Omens- Jenner's ''Signs of the Weather"-'' The Shepherd's Calendar "-Predic- tions from Birds, Beasts, and Insects— drdes round the Sun and Moon— i^wOntad-iime Prophedes-TheEvU Days qr every Month 817

•. ». anb 9. S.

Tne^Oan and the Orsgorian Calendars— How Ccesar arranged the Calendar— The Julian Tear—Ooing faster than the Sun— Pope Gregory's EffOrU— Origin qf the New Style— ''Poor Job's Abnanao"—The Loss of Eleven Days-Bow the matter was EJcpUnned aSK

XIV CONTENTS.

Pttmrria Stt|[mca.

The Books 0/ the Old Testament— Ths Books qf the New— Verified hOpe to Memory— Names qf Shakespeare'' s Plays— List of English SooerOgns- Names of the Presidents— T lie Decalogue in verse— Short Metrical Gram- mar—Nftmder qf days in each Month— Bow Quakers Bemember 827

©rigin of ff^ngs ^familiar.

iHikf yoiur P'sand Q^s—AU Foots Day— The First Playing Cards— ''Sub Rosa "— " Over the Left "— " Kicking the Bucket ''—The Bumper— A Boyal Saying— Story of Joe Dun, the BaUiff—The First Humbug— Pasquinade— The First Bottled Ale- The Gardener and Vie Potatoes- TarHng and FeatheHng—The Stockings qf Former Time— The Order qfthe Garter— Drinking Healths- A Feaiher in his Cap— The Word '' Book''— Nine Tail- ors and One Manr-'' Viz "—Signature qf the Cross— The Turkish Crescent— The Post-paid Envelopes of the nth Century-Who first sang the ''Old Hundredth f" Who ujrote the "Marseillaise Hymn f"— Thrilling Story of the French BevolutUm—The Origin of " Yankee Doodle"— Story (tf Lucy LockeU and Kitty Fisher— How Dutchmen sing " Yankee Doodle"— How the American Flag was chosen— Who was Brother Jonathan t What is known of " UndeSam/ "—The Dollar Mark [$] ; what does it mean f— Bows and Arrows in the Olden Time— All about Guns— The first Insurance Company—The Banks qf three Centuries ago— The Invention of Bells— Who first said "Boo!"— Who made the flrd Clock— The Watches <^ the Olden Time— AU about the Invention of Printing— The first Cock-fights- Meaning of the word " Turncoat"— Who Invented Lucifer Matches f— When was the Flag qf England first unfurled— Why are literary ladies called "Blue StocHngs f"— Origin of the word " Skedaddle "—How Fools- cap Paper got its name— The First Forged Bank-NoU—Who made the first Piano Forte?"— The first Doctors-The first Thanksgiving Proclamation- First Prayer in Congress- The first Eeporfers- Origin of the word " News" —The Earliest Newspapers— Who sent the first Tdegrajihic Message. ... 88:

^oi^ang ^tb Snbcr iht Suit.

First idea qfthe Magnetic Telegraph— Telegraph btfore Morse— Telegraph a Century Ago— Who made the first Steam Engine f-What Matian de rOrme saw in the Mad-house— What the Marquis of Worceafer Did- BicheOeu's Mistake- Wonderful Invention of James Watt-The first Qar^

CONTENTS. Xr

Steamer— FuUonan^I the Sfeam Sh^e—The Jtrtt BaOoonAteitukm-^Whial Franklin said about the Baby—An Inventor^s MMakt^Diteover^qf the Clr- culaiionq^the Blood— What is ^AnouthsHa t '^^Bow ths Mrti Anodynes wers made— How AdasnCs " BXb ** %Bas taken from him— All about the Boomerang— Who IHsoouered the Centre <if Gravity f— The first BiJIe— Table-moving and Spirit-rapping in Ancient Times- What is "" Ausadtatianf^^—The Slsreoscope— Ancient Prediction of the Discovery of America 875

tritimp^s of Ingtnmtg:

How the Planet Nejitune was Ditcovertd-Le Verrier^s Wonderful Calculation— The Story of a poor PhyHcian—An Astronomer at Home- How LescarbauU became Fa*nous—The Discovery of the Planet Vulcan— Ingenious Strategem of Columbus— How an Eclipse teas made Us^ul— Story of King John and the Abbot— A Picture of the Olden Time— Clever Reply to Three Puzding questions— The Father AbbU ill a Fix 886

S^e (dfancits of J^Hd.

The Wounds of JuSius Oasar—Some Curious Old Bills— '''' Mending the Ten Com- mandments''''—Screwing a Horn on the Devil- Glueing a bit on his Tail— Sepairing the Virgin Mary btfore and behind— Making a New Cliild— Why Bishops and Parsons have no Souls— The Story of a Curious Conversion- Singular PraverqfLord Ashley— A Moonshine Story of Sir Waller Scott- Do Lawyers tell the Truth f -Patrick Henry* s Little Chapd—The True Form of the Cross— How Poets and Painters hoveled us astray— Curious Coincidences— How a Bird was Shot with a Stick— How a Musket-shotin the Lungs saved a Man's life— Mysterious Tin Box foundin a Shark's Stomach— A Curious Card Trick— Which was the right Elizabeth Smith f— How Mrs. Stephens'' 8 Patients were Cured— How a GirTs Good Memory Caught a Thi^ -Choosing a Motto for a Sunrdial— Strange Story of a Murdered Man— The Chick in the Egg— Innate Appetite— The Indian and the Tame Snake— Why do AlUgators Swallow Stones f— Curious Anecdote about Sheejj— Celebrated Journeys on Horseback— A Horse that went to topofSL Peters'' at Rome— A Wondstful Lock— Wonders Of Manufacturing— How Itvn can be made More Predous than Gold— The Spaniard and his Emeralds— How a Cat was sold for Six Hundred Dollars— Another Cat sold for a Pound qf Gold— The amount of Gold in the Wotid- Amount of Treasure collected by David— How much Odd was found in Califomia—What toas brought from Australia— The Wealth (^ Ancient Romans— Wins at Two MUlUm dollars a Bottle, or $272 per drop— Who is permitted to drink it— Monster Beer Casks, and who made

XVI CONTENTS.

then^—Olgantie Wine-tunt cU HeUUibergand Konigstdn^A Beer-vat in which TiDO Hundred People Dined— Difference between ike English Poets- Perils of PreaxUy— Children who toere too Knowing— What became of 146 EngUshmen who were confined in the Black Hole— Bono the Finns make Barometers of Stone— Singular Bitterness qf Strichnia—Somethitig about Salt —Curious Change of Taste— The Children of Israel anned with Guns- Simeon with a pair of ''^ Si)ecs " —Eve in ahandfomeFiouncedDress—St. Peter and the Tobacco Pipe— Abraham shooting Mac with a Blunderbuss— The Maniage of Christ ivith St. Caiheritie- Cigar-lighters at the Last Supper— Shooting Ducks with a Oun in the Garden of Eden— Wonderful Specimens of Minute Mechanism— Homer in a Xutshdl— The Bible in a Walnut— Squcuing the Cirde— Mathematical Prodigies— Story of a Wonder- ful Boy—Babbage's Calculating Machine— Extraordinary Feats of Memory— A Bishop's Heroism— Silent Compliment 406

S^e Jantxea of Jatt.-coNTiNUED.

The Exact Dimensions of Heaven— The coH of Solomon's Temple— The Mystic Numbers " Seven " and " Three "— Curiam jx)wer of Number Nine— Size of Noah's Ark and t/teOreht Eastern- About Colors: their Immense Variety— Vast AS7Vlites, and what they are— Fate of America's Discoverers-Facts about the Ptesidents— Value of Queen Victoria's Jewels— An Army of Women— The Star in the East-Betijamin Franklin's Court Dress— Extraor- dinary instances of Longevity— Do Americans Uve long f— A nmn who lived more than 200 years— *^* Quack-quack" and '•'' Bow-wow " —A Marriage Vow qf the Olden Tifiie-"^ Buxum in Bedde and at the Borde "— What came in a drecan to Herschel— Singular Facts about Sleep— Curious Chinese Torture— Do Fishes ever Sleep f- How a Bird Grasps his Perch when Asleep— How to gain Seven Years and a half of Life— Effects of Opium and Indian Hem}}— Confes- sion of an English Opium- Eater— Strange Effectsof Fear— The Thief and the Feathers— The Poisoned Coachman— How a Man Died of Nothing -What Chas. BeU did to the Monkey- A Man with Two Faces— Thrilling Story qf a *^Broken heart "—No Comfort in bieing Beheaded— A Man tchoSiioke after his Head was cut off— A Man who Lived after Sensation uhm Destroyed— Comical Antipathies— Afraid of Boiled Lobsters— A Fish and a Fever— Why Joseph Scaliger couldn't Drink Milk— The Man who Ban away from a Cat- About the Cock that Frightened Ccesar—The Two Bivthers with One Set of feelings— How Dennis Hendrick won his Strange Bet— Walking Blindfolded —How to Tell the Time by Cats' Eyes—Hoio a Young Woman was Cured by a Bing— The Story told by a Skull- A Bomantlc High way Bobber, . 436

CONTENTS. XVn

Tike Oqffin on the Table— Queer Mode qf Enjoying OneaOf—A Bem^Jid Indian Cuslom— Why the PeopU qf Carazan Murder their Gueeie— Danger qf Being Handecme—Hou) an EM Spirit toae Frightened Away—BerfsteaJa from a lAoe Cow— CSompUmenis Pcdd to a Bear—How Noeee art Made— How lAone are Caught by the Tail— A Picture qfHigh lAfe Four Centuriee Ago— Why Haire were put in Ancient Seals— Fining People for not Getting Married^ A Curioue Matrimonial Advertitement 4T7

Odd TUleefor a Sham IMrary—Puns €f Tom Hood The Jeeta <tf merode^— Curioue Letter (^SothechilcTe— Some Singularly Short Letters— A Dieappoint" ed Looer^^" The Happiest Dog AHve ''— What Happened Between Abemethy and the Lady— Witty Sayings qf TaHeyrand—Why Rochester's Poem was Beet— How the Emperor Nicholas was '''' Sold^''— Difference Between " Old Harry'''' and *' (Hd yict''— Comical Story of a very Mean Man— Instances of Attdadous Boasting— Chas. Mathews and the Silver Spoon— How a King Vpsei his Insider-Curious Story of Some BsHcs—What '' Topsy's'' Other Name Was— Minding their P*s and Q's^Practical Jokes qf a Sussian Jester.

483

jflKB^es of ^partte.

Curran and Sir Boyle Soehe— Witty Reply of a F%shu>oman—Cobden and the American Lady— Witty Suggestion qf Napoleon— Making '^ Game** of a Lady— The Road that no Peddler ever Traveled— ''A Puppy in his Boots/"— A Quaker'' s Queer Suggestion— What the Girl said to Curran— A Man who had ** never been Weaned*''— Ready Wit of Theodore Hook— *^ Chaff " between Barrow and Rochester— A Windy M. P.— A Clergyman known by his'' Walk**— A Man who ''had a Right to Speak**— The " Weak Brother** and Tobacco Plpe»—Beecher Lecturing for F-A-M-E— Admiral Ksppd and the He- Goat— Thackeray and the Beggar- Woman— What Paddy soAd about "Ayther and Nay ther**— Scribe and the French Millionaire- Voltaire and HaUer^Why Paddy "Loved her Still**— Bacon and Hogg— " A Most Excellent Judge**— Thackeray Snubbed— Christian Cannibalism^ How a Barrister*s Eloquence was Silenced 496

Masculine and Feminine Virtues and Vices- Character qf the Happy Woman— What Mrs, Jameson said about Women— Old Ballad in Praise qf Women—

XVUl CONTENTS.

Th4 Two Sexes Compared— WluU John Randolph said in Praise (tfUabri- fnony—W\fe; Mistress; or Ladyf^-St. Leon's ToaH to his Mother. ... BOl

Tha CaUph <f Bagdad—Shrewd Decision qf a Moslem Judge-A QuesHonqf ZHnner^How the Money was Divided— The Wisdom <^Ali—The ProphMVi Judgment : Wisdom and WeaWir^Mohammedan Logic— The f^)oUsh Young Man who Fell in Love— Queer Case of Conseguential Damages— Sad Blunder qf Omar— A Ferplexing Turkish WiU— The Dervis^s Device 608

(HxuxftR from ^erstan ^otir^.

JSatih an lUusion-Heavm an Echo qf Earthr-A Moral Atmosphere— Fortune and Worth— Brokm Hearts— To a Generous Man— Beauty's Prerogative- Proud Humiaty—FoUy for Oneself— An ImpossiMlUy— Sober Drunken- ness-A Wine Drinker's Metaphors— The Verses qf Mirtsa Schaffy—The Uhappredaiive World-The CaHph and Satan— Curious Dodge qf the ^^evU 511

epigrams.

An Epigram on Epigrams— Midas and Modem Statesmen-'' Come Oentle Sleep''— A Man who Wrote Long Epitaphs— T?ie Fool and the Poet— "Dam VivlmuB VivamuB "— Z)r. Johnson and MoBy Ashton—A Know- Nothing— Epigram on " Our Bed"— On a Late Repentance— A' Pale Lady with a Sed-Nosed Husband— Snoujfiakes on a Lady's Breast— To John Milton^ Wesley on Butler— Ridiculous Compliment to Pope-Athol Brass— What is Eternity— Stolen Sermons— Comical Advice to an Author^ A Frugal Queen— Man With a Thick Skull— 3ass Prue and the Kiss-A Ready- Made Angel— The Lover and the Looking- Glass— A Capricious Friend— A Man who Toid " Fibs "—Unlucky End of a Scorpion— The Lawyer and the Novd—A Woman's Will— Wellington's Big Nose— The Miser and his Money— On Bad Singing— Old Nick and the Fiddle— Foot-man versofi Toe- man—"Hot Com"— Bonnets qf Straw— An ''Original Sin" Man— On Writing Verses— Prudent Simpa<Aty—A Friend in Distress— Hog t. Bacon— A Warm Reception- Taking Medical Adviee—D^nition qf a Dentist— Dr. Goodenough's Sermon— What Might Have Been— A Reflection— The Woman in the Case— How Lawyers are " Keen"— Dux and Drakes— The Parson's Eyes— "He Didn't Mean Her"— Affinity Betu^een Gold and Love— The Crier who Could not Cry— The Parson and the Butcher— A Hard Case qf Strikes- Coats qf "Utile— The Beaux upon the Quiver— On Burning Widows—

CONTENTS. ZIZ

LtarOng ^pettkm ty Heart— A GoUm Web^-Tke Jawbomt if m Am- HMking on her Head— Marriage i la mode— (}wkli>o ^|if»—iraMDi, pro aitdam—AhitndaneeqfFOob—Tke Worid—'^*- Derminer Sans Ofer^''SeeiMg JknUe -14

Impromjrins.

J>r. Young and hU Eee-How Ben Joneon Paid kU BiU-What MdciUe taid to QttMii EUtabeth-The ^^Angd** in the Few— How Andreio Homer teas Cut vp—What Hastings Wrote <f Burke— Impromptu qf Dr. Johnson— Burksque <f (Xd BaOads— What was ** liunning in a Ladfs Head **— Im- provised Bhfmee—LUbe taUo Judas— How the Devil got his Due— The Writ- ingoH the Window-'' I Thought eo Yesterday^'-What U Written on the Oaieeof HeU—Bums^ '^ Oraeeb^fOrs Meal'' 6S8

l^cfrRdurg S^mhtg.

JuBeaaui ond tke Loeenges—Brougham^s Rhyme Jbr Morris— The Ereneh ^^MeulatorU ^taph—What is a Monogomphe— i?Ay}yv<ybr Months Chim- ney^ Liquid^ Carpet^ Window^ Garden^ Porringer^ Orange^ Lemon^ Pilgrim^ Widow ^ Timhuetoo^ Niagara, Maehonochle—Bhyme to Oottingen—The iMgoldeby Legends— Punches Funny Bhymes—CTuipin's Rhyme to Brimble- eomh— Butler's Bhyme to Philosopher— A Rhyme to Germany— Hoodie Noetunud Sketdi 631

fiBlenimts.

A strategic Looe-Letier—Loee-Letter in Invisible Ink^Seeret Invitation Con- esaled in a Love-Ldter—Maeaulay^s Esiay to Mary C. Stanhope— Love- Verses of Robert Bums— Teutonic AMteration— Singular Letter in Three Columns— Love- Letter Written in Blood— A Valentine in Many Languages— Prac^eal Joke on a Colored Man— Unpublished Verses ftf Thomas Moore— An Egyptian Serenade— Petition qf Sixteen Maids against the Widows of South CaroUna—Vhludty Petition to Madame de Maintenon 544

Soimtts.

How the Fourteen Lines leert Written— Sonnet on a Fashionable Church— Onthe Proxy Saint— About a Nose— On Dyspepeiar-Humility—Ave Maria /. . . 551

t,oviatvKdg tA Senst its Somtb.

Ar^dOale ImUatkm of Inarticulate Sounds— ExampU from Pope— Milton's . **Lyctdas"^Fyom Dyer's ''Rulne <f Rome''-Bnitations qf Time and

XX CONTENTS.

Motionr-'' VAUe9ro''-'Pqpe'8 '" Homer^'-DrydeiCB '' Lvcretiu8''—MlUon'a '''^ 11 P8nsero90*^^Fine EjumvfUt ftotn VirffU—JmitatioM of Difficulty and JBcue 6M

Jamiliar (^notations from Unfamiliar SonxttB.

** No Cross^ no Grown^'*^^*' Corporations have no SouW—^^ ChUdrtn of a Larger Orowih "— " Qmtistency a Jewel "— " Cleanlineee next to Godliness "— "fl6'» a Brick'"— *' When at Bome^ do as the Romans''''—'''' Taking Time by the Forelock''—'' What wiU Mrs. Orundy Sayf'—'' Though Lost to Sight, to Memory Dear"—'' Conspicuous by its Absence "—" Do as I Say^ not as I Do*'— " Honesty the Best PoUey"—" Facts aiv Stubborn Things"— ^' Com- parisonsare Odious "— " Dark as Pitch "— ** Every Tubon its own Bottom'''- Two Pages qf Examples^ Interesting^ Amusing, and Instructive 566

A^^^t^H^'i^ ' ^ittratnre.

Epitaphs of Eminent Men— Appropriate and Bare Inscriptions— FranJdin's Epitaph on Hifnseif— Touching Memorials qf Children— Historical and Biographical Epitaphs— Self- Wtitten Insaiptions— Advertising Notices- Unique and Ludicrous Epitaphs— Puns in the Churchyard— Puzzling In- scriptions-Parallels Without a Parallel— Bathos- Transcendental Epitaph— AcrostUxU InscriptUna— Indian, African, HibeniUm, Greek EsAtaphs— Patchioork Cfvaracter on a Tombstone— The Printer's Epitaph— S})ecitnens cf Exceedingly Brief Epitaphs— Highly Laudatory Inscriptions— A Chemical Epitaph— On an Architect— On an Orator- On a Watchmaker— On a Miserly Money-Lender— On a Tailor— On a Dancing Master— On an Infidel— On Voltaire— On Hume— On Tom Pains— " Earth to Earth"— Byrvn's In- scription on his Dog 564

Inscriptions.

dd English Tavern SignrBoards— Curious Origin of Absurd Signs—" The Magpie and Crown"—" The Hen and the Sazor"—" The Swan^ith-two- Necks"— Singular Statement (tf Sir Joseph Banks—" The Goat and Comr passes"— The "Signs" of Puritan Times— A Curious " Reformation" - "The Cat and the Fiddle"-" Satan and the Bag of Nails" -Ancimi Signs m Pompeii— The Four Awls and the Grave Morris— The " Queer Door," and the "Pig and Whistle" -Heraldic Signs of the MiddU Ages— " I have a Cunen Fox, Ac,"— Versified Inscriptions— Cooper and his "Zwd Glasses "-How a Sign Cost a Man his Life— An Inscription in Four Columns— Beer- Jug Inscriptions— Inscriptions on Window- Panes— Quaint Description qfan Inn in the Olden Time—Cwious DucriptUms on BeUt—

CONTENTS. XXI

Bc^Hdnff and AnoitUinff BOU-^Tht Cfrtat Tom qf Oatford—AmuHng Old Fly-Ltqf liucripUoM—Sun-Dial InteripHaM—Memorial Venea—FrandurM SUiffular Diioovery^Gclden Moito»—'' Potiu ''from Wedding Ringt. . (U5

IParallel ^passages.

Mita^OM and PtagiarioM qf Author*— Curiout OcAnddencu—EiBampIsi from Toung^ Ckmgrwe^ JBtoir, and Shakespeare— Jmitationt qf Otway^ Oray, Milton^ and Rogere—The Blindnssaqf Homer and MUton— What ffume eaid qf the CUrffjf—ffow Praise Becomes Satire—Parallel Passages from the EhgUsh Poets—Singvlar Examples from Shakespeare— Shakespeare^ $ Ae- gtuHntanee with the Latin Poets— Thoughts Repeated from Age to Age-" Which teas the True Original f— Historical Similitudes— What Radbod said with his Legs in the Water— Why Wulf the Goth, toouldn't be Baptised— Why an Indian Rtfussd to go to Heaven— Curious Cfioice <fa Woman- Last Words qf Cardinal Wolsey— Death qfSir James Hamilton— Sohmon^s Judgment Rqteated—Why two Women Pulled a ChUd^s Lege— How Na- poleon Decided Betioeen two Ladies— The Hindoo Legend of the Weasel ar)d the Babe— The Fait/^ful Dog: a Welsh Ballad— Singular Murder qf a Clever Apprentice— BaUads and Legends— Terrible Story qf an old Mid- vf\fe—What a Clergyman did at Midnight— How Genevra was Buried Alive— The Ghoet which Appeared to Antonio— Strange Story of a Ring^ BeeUh Prophedee—What toas done btfore three Battles— How an Armyqf Mice Devoured Bishop Hatto 640

^rotolgpM.

Ths Oldest Proverb on Record— Curious Wish of an Old Lady— Cinderella* e Sapper— How an Eagle Stole a Shoe, and a King Chose a W\fe—Mre. Caudle's Curtain Lectures— ** The Charge of the Light Brigade^'— Dr, Faustus and the Devil—'''' Blown up " Cushions— What the '' Poor Cat V the Adage'' Did— The Lady with Two Cork Legs— The Pope'e Bull against the Comet— Lincoln ^''Stoapping Horses''— Wooden Nutmege— Trade Unions Two Centuries Ago— Consequential Damages— The Babies that Never were Bom— The Original Shylock—Druidical Eiecommunication—Fall of Na- poleon L— Lanark and Lodore—The Song qf the BeU—TurgoCs Eulogistic Epigraph on Franklin— Origin ^ the Declaratkm qf Independence- Ths Know-Nothings— The first Conception of the Pilgrim's Progress— Did Defoe Write Robinson Crusoe f— TaUeyrantTs Famous Saying .• W hence f—Mietake wbout Drinking out qf Skulls— Great Literary Plagiarism— Origin of Old MaOads—The Story cf the Wandering Jew 699

XXll CONTENTS.

Old Books Vfith Odd TUUb-'' Shot Aimed at the DevWs HeadquarUrs''— " Ontm^ qf Contort for the Chickens qf the Ooventtnt''—''Bsrffs cf Charity Layed by the Chickens qf the Covenant^ and Boiled toith the Water of Divine Love''— '' High-heeled Shoes for Jhoorfs in Holiness''— '' Hooks and Eyes for Believers' Breeches"— '''• Sixpenny worth of Divine Spirit"— "• Spiritual Mustard Pot"—''Tobaeeo Battered and Pipes Shattered" -''News fivm Heaven"— The Most Curious Book in the World— A Book that was never Written or Printed^ but which can be Read— The Stiver Book at Vpsal— What is a BVbliognostef—What a BibRoffraphe f—What a Bibliomane f— What a Bibliophile and a Bibliotajihef 790

Itittranaira.

The Mystery qf the " Letters of Junius"— Who Wrote Them f— What Canning and Maottulay Thought— A Well-kept Secret— Original MS. qf Gray's Elegy— The Omitted Stamas— Imitations— How Pope Corrected hie Manu- script— Importance qf Punctuation ; Comical Errors— '' A Pigeon Making Bread"— How many Nails on a Lady's Hand— A Comical Petition in Church— The Soldier who Died for want qf a Stop— Indian Heraldry— Anachronisms qf Shakespeare— King Lear's Spectacles— The Heroines of Shaketpeare— Shakespeare's life and Sonnets Compared— Was He LaxMt— The Age qf Hamlet— Was He Beatty Mad f— Additional Verses to ''Home, Sweet Home ' '— The Falsities of History— Two Views of Napoleon— Clarence and the Butt of Malmsey— True Character of Richard III— The Name "America" a Fraud— Lexington and the "First Blood Shed"— Eye- witnesses in Error— Curious Story qf Sir Walter Raleigh— The D^fflerence bettpeen Wit and Hwnor—A Rhyming Newspaper— Ruskin's D^enee cf Book-Lovers— Letters and their Endings— Shrewd Words qfLord Bacon,

798

Aooounl qf eoms Famous linguists— A Man who Knew 0ns Hundred and Eleven Language»—A Cardinal of Many Tongues— EOhu Burrit, the Learned Blacksmith— literary Oddities- Curious Habits qf Celebrated Authors— How they have Written their Books— Racine's Adventure toith the Workmen- Luther in his Study— Calvin ScrtbbUng in Bed— Rousseau, Le Sage, and Byron at Work— Fontaine, Pascal, Fenelon, and De Quincey— Whence Bacon Sought Inspiration— Culture and Saaifice— The Sorrows and THals of Great Men— Sharon Turner and the Printers— A Stingy Old Scribbler—

CONTENTS. ZZUl

Drydm and Bit PuiUther— Jacob T<mtoiC% SasealUy; how He Tried to (»Bai the Poet T56

personal Skttt^es anb ^ntcboles.

AMCdoU qf Owrge Washington— What Lafayette told to the King <^ France— PeeuRaritiee qf the Name Napoleon— How NapdUon Bemembertd MUton at the Dreacfftd Battle qf AvsterHtz—The Emperor''s Personal Appearance— Hit Opinionof Suicide— Benjamin FrankUn'a Frugai W\fe— Major AndrS and the " Cow-Chaee'^-An Englieh View qf Andri and Arnold— How the Attronomer Boyal Found cm Old Woman^s Clothes— The Boywhoset Fire to an Em^y Bottle— Curious Views qf Martin Luther— The Hero qf the Btformatiar^—Cariyle's TranskUion qf Luther'' s Hymn— Curious Account qf Queen Elimbeth—What She Said to the Troublesome Priest— What was the Beat Color cf Her Hair f— Was Shakespeare a Christian^— Personal De- scription qf Oliver Cromwell— How Pope's SkuU was Stolenr-What Became qf YfUXBffeU Ashes—The Folly qf Two Astrologers— AneedoUs qf ToOey- rond—PorsotCs PuzOss 788

Piftorical SllfnnorHttba.

Ths First PSIood oftheSevdution—The •* TeorParty'' at Boston— Tea-Burning at AnnapoRs—The First American Sh\paqfWar—How